In today's episode of the Your Blank, What Now? Podcast, we are thrilled to have a special guest whose story reflects resilience, transformation, and entrepreneurship. I’m Marci Nettles, your host for nearly three years now, and it has been a privilege to share the stories of individuals who have overcome significant challenges, paused to reflect, and made conscious decisions to create new lives for themselves. Today, we continue that mission by welcoming Dedee Cai, a remarkable woman who turned her own life's breakdowns into breakthroughs.
From Childhood Dreams to Entrepreneurial Success
Dedee Cai is the founder and performance coach at Fit to Profit, a company dedicated to helping entrepreneurs excel in both life and business by combining psychology, cognitive science, and holistic wellness. With over 15 years of experience in health and wellness, Dedee is on a mission to empower women to unapologetically reach their full potential while changing the world. Today, she leads her company with passion, but her journey wasn’t always smooth.
Reflecting on her early years, Dedee shared her upbringing in Vietnam. Growing up in an extended family in a third-world country, she learned the value of hard work from a young age. As an only child, she often engaged in imaginative play with her cousin, and even then, her natural inclination was to help and "fix" others. This early desire to nurture and heal would later become a cornerstone of her life and career.
Dedee recalls pretending to be a doctor, asking her cousin to act injured so she could step in and help, mirroring her childhood ambition to make a difference in people’s lives. Interestingly, those formative years set the foundation for the passion and drive she displays today as she helps entrepreneurs build their businesses and improve their lives.
Resisting Entrepreneurship: A Cultural Expectation
Despite her early inclinations to help others, Dedee did not initially see herself as an entrepreneur. Like many children growing up in traditional households, she was raised with the expectation that success meant excelling in school, landing a good job, and following a conventional path. In her case, the plan was to pursue a noble profession like teaching or becoming a doctor.
However, fate had other plans. When Dedee's family moved to the United States, her mother opened a salon business to provide for the family. Despite seeing her mother navigate the complexities of business ownership, Dedee resisted the entrepreneurial path for many years. In her 20s, she followed the traditional route laid out for her—earning a degree and securing a corporate job. Yet, when she found herself confined to a cubicle, the supposed epitome of success felt more like a prison.
"I was sitting there thinking, ‘Is this really what life is supposed to be? Is this the American Dream?’" Dedee remembers feeling unfulfilled, realizing that the traditional career route wasn’t going to bring her the happiness she sought.
A Leap Into Entrepreneurship
It was only when the conventional path failed to bring satisfaction that DeDee took her first step into entrepreneurship. Her mother asked her to partner with her in opening a restaurant, marking the moment Dedee first said "yes" to running her own business. Although she had resisted for years, she found herself without other appealing options. It was a turning point, and from there, Dedee embarked on the challenging yet rewarding journey of entrepreneurship.
The restaurant business was a trial by fire, requiring her to wear many hats and face the grueling demands of running a small business. She worked 18-hour days, juggling everything from front-end customer service to cleaning toilets and managing contractors. Dedee’s cultural upbringing had instilled in her a belief that success required hard work, a belief she carried into her business endeavors. However, as she later realized, this mindset came with significant emotional and physical tolls.
Cultural Expectations and the Emotional Toll
Running a restaurant with her mother brought both joy and challenges. On one hand, the first few years were a success—Dedee and her mother created a beloved "hole-in-the-wall" restaurant that fostered a tight-knit community. Customers came from far and wide, and Dedee took pride in knowing every customer by name, forming meaningful connections with each person who walked through the door.
But behind the scenes, the realities of entrepreneurship were grueling. Dedee found herself performing every task, from climbing ladders to fix the exhaust system to managing the business's operations. As a small woman in a male-dominated industry, she often had to assert herself with contractors, standing firm to ensure that her business ran smoothly. These experiences taught her valuable lessons in resilience and leadership, but they also came at a cost.
Emotionally, the toll of working long hours alongside her mother—who was both her business partner and family—was significant. While she valued their relationship, balancing the dynamic of mother-daughter and business partners added layers of complexity to their interactions. Additionally, Dedee’s personal life was affected. At the time, she was dating her now-husband, who, despite having his own corporate job, would help at the restaurant during his breaks and after work. Their relationship was strained by the demands of the business, and the emotional exhaustion of trying to maintain a balance was overwhelming.
Breaking Through to a New Path
Though Dedee found success in the restaurant business, it became clear that this version of hard work and sacrifice wasn’t sustainable for her. She had to learn that success didn’t have to come at such a high emotional and physical cost. This realization led Dedee to explore self-development, a journey that would later inspire her to found Fit to Profit. Now, she helps others break free from limiting beliefs, just as she did, and empowers them to redefine success on their own terms.
This incredible journey—from growing up in Vietnam, to resisting entrepreneurship, to ultimately embracing it and transforming her approach to work and life—lays the foundation for the next phase of Dedee's story. Stay tuned as we dive deeper into the challenges and lessons she encountered as she continued to build a successful career and empower others along the way.
From Burnout to Breakthrough: Recognizing the Signs and Taking the First Step from DeDee's Own Words
In the midst of personal and professional success, it’s easy to feel the pressure to keep going, to push through exhaustion, and maintain a facade of "having it all together." I found myself caught in this cycle—my business was running well, my relationship was stable, and outwardly, everything seemed perfect. But inside, I was experiencing extreme burnout, paranoia, and a sense of defeat.
I was not truly connected with my boyfriend, nor was I enjoying life. Even during vacations, I couldn’t fully relax because my mind was always occupied with the restaurant business. It felt like I was losing myself.
The Turning Point: Making the Hard Decisions
It wasn’t until the fourth year of running the business that I made the difficult decision to speak with my mother about it. The realization came that continuing in this direction wasn’t right for me. To my relief, she understood, and we agreed not to renew the lease. It was a tough decision, but it was necessary for my well-being.
Shortly after, my boyfriend proposed, and I thought life was finally taking a positive turn. However, life had other plans. Ten days before my wedding, my best friend went missing, and seven days before our wedding, she was found. She had committed suicide. This was a wake-up call for me—one that I couldn’t ignore.
The Moment of Realization: A Hidden Struggle
Her death forced me to confront a painful truth: I, too, was silently struggling with depression and anxiety. I had been putting on a facade for so long—appearing to have everything under control while completely neglecting myself. I was so focused on maintaining the image of success that I didn't allow myself the space to acknowledge my own pain and exhaustion.
As I mourned my best friend and prepared for my wedding, I realized that something had to change. The dichotomy of burying my friend on July 4th and getting married on July 7th was overwhelming. It made me see how disconnected I had become from my own life and emotions.
The Guilt of Silence and The Choice to Heal
In the aftermath of her death, I grappled with immense guilt. I was the last person to see her alive, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had missed the signs of her pain. But in my grief, I also saw a reflection of myself. I had two choices: either continue down the path of neglect and burnout or choose healing.
I chose healing. I vowed that I wouldn’t let anyone else, including myself, suffer in silence like this. I began taking the necessary steps toward self-care, which became the foundation of my transformation.
The Path to Healing: Starting With Self-Care
The first thing I did was give myself space to breathe. I stopped everything that was overwhelming me—work, responsibilities, commitments. I needed to reconnect with myself, figure out what I truly wanted in life, and heal from the inside out.
This process wasn’t immediate, and it certainly wasn’t easy. I began by exercising, which soon led me to long-distance running and yoga. Eventually, I became certified in holistic health coaching, which felt like the natural culmination of my journey. It was full circle—returning to my desire to help others, but this time from a place of wholeness, rather than self-sacrifice.
The Unmasking: Breaking Free From the Armor
During this time, I also realized the weight of the metaphorical armor I had been carrying—trying to live someone else’s life, trying to meet everyone’s expectations except my own. The armor was heavy, and it was suffocating me.
We often walk through life with masks and armor, trying to appear strong and capable. But it’s this very armor that weighs us down and leads to burnout, depression, and anxiety. I realized that if I wanted to live authentically, I had to take off the mask and allow myself to be vulnerable.
Saying No: The Power of Boundaries
One of the most important lessons I learned during this period was the power of saying no. As a self-identified people pleaser, this was extremely difficult for me, but it was essential to my healing. I began to prioritize my own needs and set boundaries with others.
At first, these boundaries were small—like asking for what I wanted, even in something as simple as changing my nail color at a salon. But these small steps were incredibly liberating. They taught me that I didn’t need to apologize for taking care of myself, and that I was worthy of asking for what I wanted.
Finding Worthiness in Self-Care
One of the reasons I had felt so broken and defeated was because I didn’t believe I was worthy of love, care, or happiness. But as I started prioritizing my self-care, I began to see my own worth. Little by little, as I focused on my health—physically, emotionally, and mentally—I started to feel stronger, more empowered, and more deserving of a life that aligned with who I truly was.
The Journey Continues
Healing is an ongoing journey, and I am still very much a work in progress. But I now know that taking care of myself is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. By focusing on my own well-being, I am better able to show up for others and live a life that is true to me.
This journey led to the creation of my coaching business, and while it didn’t take off immediately, I knew that I was on the right path. The key was to continue trusting the process, knowing that as I healed myself, I could also help others do the same.
The Importance of Self-Awareness and Care
If there’s one takeaway from my story, it’s this: You cannot pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and acknowledging your own needs are essential steps toward living an authentic and fulfilling life. Whether you are dealing with burnout, anxiety, or just the pressures of everyday life, remember that you are worthy of care and that healing starts with you.
The Transformative Journey: Embracing Spirituality and Self-Worth in Entrepreneurship
Starting a journey toward entrepreneurship often reveals deeper truths about ourselves, our spiritual path, and our self-worth. One of the most profound aspects of this journey is the realization that it is not solely about reaching a destination but about embracing the process. Each challenge, each triumph, and even each failure serves a purpose in shaping us into who we are meant to be. This revelation struck me after I completed my first marathon. It wasn’t just about running—it was about following through, embracing discipline, and learning to honor myself through adversity.
I realized that if I could run a marathon, I could do anything. The lessons I learned from that experience—discipline, persistence, and resilience—are the same qualities I now carry into my entrepreneurial journey.
Discovering the Spiritual Side of Entrepreneurship
As I transitioned into entrepreneurship, I found myself asking: where does spirituality fit into all of this? I always believed in a higher connection among people, as I was raised Buddhist. But a pivotal moment in my life occurred when I lost my best friend. That loss triggered something deep within me—a calling that I didn’t fully understand at the time but became clearer over the years.
It was at that moment I realized that entrepreneurship, like life, is more than just building a business. It's a spiritual journey. I began to see patterns, both in myself and in my clients. When things became difficult, we often relied too much on ourselves, constantly pushing without seeing the results we wanted. The breakthrough came when I leaned into my spirituality and began reading the Bible.
This was over five years ago, and it was a slow and confusing start. At first, I didn’t fully understand what I was reading, but I kept at it, turning to commentaries to help guide me. That experience marked the beginning of my deeper understanding of Christianity and how it intertwined with my personal and professional life.
Incorporating Spirituality Into Life and Business
As I deepened my relationship with God, I realized that spirituality was the missing piece of the puzzle in my life and business. I had taken care of myself mentally, emotionally, and physically, but spiritually, there was a void. As I embraced this aspect of myself, I found that my work with clients became more holistic. I wasn’t just guiding them toward business success; I was helping them free themselves from the weight of doing everything alone.
There’s something incredibly powerful about realizing that you don’t have to bear the burden of entrepreneurship—or life—on your own. Knowing that there is a loving Father in heaven who is always there, ready to help, brings so much peace and comfort. It’s like having a strong, dependable father on earth who you can always turn to for advice or help, except this Father never leaves, never fails, and always wants what’s best for you.
Healing From Father Wounds: Spiritual and Physical
This brings me to an important part of my story—my relationship with my physical father. Growing up, I didn’t have the best relationship with him; in fact, I felt abandoned as a child. Over time, I worked hard to mend that relationship, forgiving him and moving forward. Today, we’re on good terms and in contact.
However, what’s interesting is that I never felt like I lacked a father figure. Even before I had a strong spiritual foundation, I felt that God had always been with me, guiding me through the most challenging moments of my life. When people ask if I miss my father, I can honestly say I don’t feel like I’m missing anything because I have a heavenly Father who has been with me every step of the way.
Our earthly fathers are human, and they will make mistakes. But our heavenly Father is perfect, never lets us down, and provides comfort beyond measure. This realization has been a profound part of my spiritual journey, and I hope others can find that same peace in their relationship with God.
Understanding Self-Worth as Your Net Worth
It was around this time, about five years ago, that I began to truly understand that my self-worth is directly tied to my net worth. I had done a lot of personal development work, but I was still saying "yes" to things I didn’t want to do out of a need to please others. It wasn’t until I started saying "yes" only to what aligned with my values that everything began to change.
Life opened up for me in ways I never imagined. Opportunities, clients, and experiences that were perfectly aligned with my purpose came to me, and it all started with recognizing my own worth.
When I began my business, I was told to charge a certain rate because I was a new coach. But I didn’t feel right about it. I knew the value I brought to the table through my experiences, including overcoming trauma, childhood abuse, and survivor’s guilt. I knew that I was worth more than what I was being advised to charge.
So, I followed the Holy Spirit’s guidance and charged five times the suggested rate. Within two weeks, I had my first three clients. That moment reaffirmed a powerful truth: if I value myself and my expertise, others will too. My self-worth allowed me to create prosperity and serve others at a higher level.
Aligning Entrepreneurship With Spirituality
The more I embraced my self-worth and spirituality, the more I saw that entrepreneurship itself is a spiritual journey. Everything is interconnected. If we can’t value ourselves the way God values us, we won’t be able to offer our best to the world. We need to see ourselves as valuable contributors, as children of God with authority and purpose. Only then can we serve at our highest capacity.
What I’ve learned through my experiences is that we don’t have to dwell in the past and relive every trauma to understand our worth. We can acknowledge where we’ve been, but we also have the power to shift our mindset, change our perspective, and move forward with confidence.
As I continue this journey, I have learned to recognize when my thoughts aren’t serving me. If a thought doesn’t align with what God says about me, it’s not from Him—it’s from the enemy. Recognizing this allows me to shift my mindset and stay aligned with my purpose.
You're Figuring Out Who Has to Die for You to Live: What Now?
In our daily hustle, it’s easy to forget that we often have to let go of things that no longer serve us to step into the life we are truly meant to live. This concept of 'figuring out who has to die for you to live' challenges us to examine the parts of ourselves, our habits, and even relationships that are holding us back from achieving our full potential.
Prioritize Yourself: The Key to Personal Growth
One of the key takeaways from this conversation is the importance of putting yourself first. It might sound simple, but for many, prioritizing personal needs over external obligations is a difficult shift to make. Dedee reflects on this when asked what she would tell her younger self:
"It would be to prioritize yourself, put yourself first."
By making yourself a priority, you unlock doors to a life that is more fulfilling, productive, and joyful. This simple advice can prevent years of heartache and burnout. Often, the sacrifices we make for others—whether in our careers, relationships, or daily routines—drain us emotionally and physically. Prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean neglecting others; it means ensuring that you are filled up, so you can give from a place of abundance.
Self-Development and the Path to Success
Dedee's journey emphasizes that personal growth is essential in achieving professional success. Her program, "Fit to Profit," is designed to help CEOs and entrepreneurs develop unshakable confidence by focusing on self-discipline, mindset, and holistic well-being. Through her 90-day boot camp, she provides a roadmap for success by showing that when you work on yourself from the inside out, you can make more money, create a greater impact, and live a more fulfilled life.
Dedee's program isn’t just about building wealth; it’s about helping people realize their worth. She emphasizes that your impact grows as your self-worth increases, and when you operate from a place of confidence and love, you attract the right opportunities and people into your life.
The Power of Doing What You Love
A critical point in the discussion was the idea that doing what you love amplifies your impact. When you focus on the things that light you up, you bring positive energy to everything you do, and this energy resonates with others. As Dedee's puts it, "Where your energy goes, impact flows."
If you're showing up to a task or project that you don’t love, your energy will reflect that, and others will pick up on it. It’s like someone walking into a room with a bad attitude—it’s a turn-off. On the other hand, when you’re passionate about something, your enthusiasm is contagious, and your impact becomes greater.
Taking the First Step: Simple Actions to Build Self-Worth
Many people struggle with feeling unworthy or unsure of where to start. Didi offers a simple solution:
"Think about one thing that would put a smile on your face right now, and go do it."
Small, consistent actions build your self-worth over time. Whether it’s taking a walk, spending time with loved ones, or doing something creative, these activities help shift your mindset and remind you that you are worthy of happiness and success.
You Can Have It All
Dedee’s final message is clear: You can have it all. Whether you dream of health, wealth, fulfilling relationships, or professional success, it all starts with taking care of yourself holistically—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
"If I can have it, if I can do it, you can do it too. Why not you?"
This empowering belief serves as a reminder that you are capable of achieving everything you desire, as long as you make yourself a priority and work from a place of self-love.
Final Thoughts
As you move forward on your journey, take the time to reflect on what needs to change in your life for you to truly live. Perhaps it’s letting go of toxic relationships, shedding limiting beliefs, or simply learning to love yourself more. Whatever it is, know that you have the power to create the life you’ve always dreamed of, and it all starts with knowing your worth.
Breakdowns lead to breakthroughs, and every challenge you face can be an opportunity for growth. As Dedee reminds us, with self-awareness, love, and the right mindset, you can overcome any obstacle and make an impact on the world.
If you’re ready to take the next step, visit Dedee’s website Fit to Profit or follow her on social media for more insights and support on your journey to personal and professional fulfillment. You are one message away from transforming your life.
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