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Writer's pictureDondee & Marci Nettles

Finding Hope in Grief: A Guide for Women Over 50 | Maturing Women

Updated: Jun 30



Hi there Maturing Ladies!


Today, I want to share with you about grief. I know personally what a monster grief can turn into when it is pushed down and suppressed.


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I don't want that for you, and neither does God.


So, what does God say about grief and loss for maturing ladies?


Life's journey for us maturing ladies is filled with immense joy and heartbreaking loss. We face a multitude of grief opportunities: the loss of a loved one, declining physical health, and even the loss of our dreams or expectations. Grief is an emotional response to loss, and it can feel overwhelming. Yet, in the midst of these storms, God's word offers peace, strength, and hope. It reminds us that God is never far away, always present, and understands our pain.


Understanding Grief and God's Comfort


My husband and I facilitated a GriefShare group at our church for a couple of years, and I learned so much about grief. I learned that the reason we grieve and it pains us so much is because we cared about that person and loved them deeply. Without love, there is no grief. I also learned that we are not born with a natural understanding and ability to grieve—it is taught.


Personally, I never learned how to grieve properly as a child when I experienced several grief clusters, which is when several grief-inducing events happen in a short period. For me, it was my parents' divorce, my sister losing her first baby, and my school bus boyfriend being killed in a horrific accident. My life fell apart, and I became numb. I needed to grieve each thing individually to remove the compound pain. I didn't learn how to grieve properly until I was introduced to GriefShare in 2020, at the age of 49.


If you do not learn how to grieve properly and allow yourself to feel the emotions and pain, you risk losing all of the beautiful memories of the person you lost. Instead of working through the pain with God, you might hide behind protective barriers, which leads to more loss. God wants to be with us in our grief to be our comforter and healer. You can't grieve wrong as long as you are trying, and you will find that you can move out of the place where you may have been feeling stuck.


Four Lessons from GriefShare


1. Turn to God in Prayer


Prayer is a powerful tool, and in times of grief, it is irreplaceable. It allows us to express our pain and confusion honestly to God. Psalm 62:8 tells us to pour out our hearts before Him, knowing He is a listening ear and a source of strength. Even if you don't have the words to pray, silent prayer with God is perfect. He already knows your thoughts and feelings.


2. God Understands and Weeps with You


The Bible shows us that God understands grief. He isn't a distant, uncaring deity but a God who walks beside us in our suffering. Isaiah 53:3 describes Jesus as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. Jesus wept with Mary and Martha at the death of their brother Lazarus (John 11:35). This understanding is a source of immense comfort. We don't have to hide our tears or pretend to be strong. Psalm 56:8 says that God collects our tears in a bottle, seeing and feeling our pain.


3. Lean into God's Strength


Grief can leave us feeling drained and emotionally depleted, but the Bible reminds us that God is our source of strength. Psalm 18:2 and Isaiah 40:29 emphasize that God gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Through prayer and scripture, we can access God's strength to face each day, even when it feels impossible.


4. God's Hope Carries You Beyond the Tears


Grief can make it difficult to see beyond the present pain, but the Bible offers a message of hope. Revelation 21:4 promises that God will wipe every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning. This hope allows us to grieve with a sense of purpose, knowing that our loved ones are safe in God's arms and that we will one day be reunited (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).


Five Tips for Overcoming Grief with Faith


1. Lean on God's Word

Immerse yourself in scripture. Find verses that speak to your heart and offer comfort. Write them down, meditate on them, and pray over them.


2. Seek a Support System

Surround yourself with loving friends and family who can offer a listening ear and practical help. Consider joining a grief support group like GriefShare, which is Bible-based and directs you to God for healing.


3. Embrace Memories

Look at photos, share stories, and celebrate the life of your loved one. Let others share their favorite memories with you. Create new traditions around anniversaries, holidays, and birthdays to keep your loved one alive in your heart.


4. Practice Self-Care

Grief takes a toll on your physical and emotional well-being. Ensure you're getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, hydrating, and exercising regularly. Prioritize activities that you enjoy and check in with your doctor for regular checkups.


5. Find Purpose in Service

Helping others is a powerful way to find meaning and move through your grief. Volunteer your time or talents to a cause close to your heart. Serving and loving others helps you to take the focus off your loss and be grateful for what you have.


Conclusion


Grief is a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and bad days. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel your emotions. Remember, dear sister, you are not alone. God is with you every step of the way, offering strength, comfort, and the promise of a brighter tomorrow. As Psalm 23:4 says, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." God loves you, and you are never alone.


Please share this with a friend who may be going through grief right now. They will thank you.


- Marci

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