The Impact of Societal Pressures on Self-Image
Are you constantly looking in the mirror and picking out your flaws?
Do you find yourself remembering the airbrushed covers of magazines like Vanity Fair or comparing yourself to the model-like women on social media?
Deep down, you know it’s just a filter that makes them look that way. You turn on the news and hear about the controversy of boys competing in girls' sports, taking victories from those who have worked their whole lives for that trophy. Young boys and girls are being influenced by the education system at the first sign they may have a feminine or masculine tendency, often leading to a loss of parental rights and condemning the child to a life of mental health battles.
Cosmetic surgery is often suggested as a solution for perceived flaws like sagging skin, drooping eyelids, or changes to the body after childbirth and breastfeeding. This is all part of a broader cultural identity crisis and an attack on women. Are you in a place where you’re not quite sure who you are?
The Influence of Social Media
Throughout history, societal expectations have dictated how women should look, behave, and live. Today, these pressures manifest through social media, creating an atmosphere detrimental to a woman’s sense of self, affecting girls of all ages. Airbrushed photos and carefully crafted online personas create a constant comparison game, leading to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction with one’s appearance. This way of thinking often leads to an identity crisis.
What Is an Identity Crisis?
An identity crisis is like a heavy shroud draped over a sense of self that feels lost or fragmented. We stare at ourselves in the mirror of life, but the reflection is blurry and distorted by beliefs forced upon us. This universal experience can be triggered by life events, societal pressures, and agendas, or simply a gnawing sense of unease. At the heart of this crisis lies a fundamental question: Who am I?
Searching for External Validation
We search for answers in external validation, achievements, career titles, social statuses, and relationships. Yet, these often provide fleeting satisfaction, leaving the core unanchored and creating an initial identity crisis compounded by a medical crisis. I’d love to share a bit more of my story about personal identity and the crisis I went through.
My Personal Journey with Identity Crisis
In 1999, before I knew Jesus, I was going through a difficult time. I had recently divorced and found myself as a single mom thinking about dating again. After giving birth and breastfeeding my two amazing kids, my body changed. I didn’t have good elasticity in my skin, resulting in stretch marks and sagging breasts. My best friend, a hairdresser, had a client who was a new plastic surgeon. He offered my friend and two others a deal on breast implants. Despite the painful recovery, I ended up with breast implants that became part of my identity, leading to a false sense of confidence and attracting attention from men.
The Hidden Dangers of Breast Implants
For 21 years, those implants caused unknown pain and symptoms. In early 2021, feeling like I was dying and after exhaustive medical tests, I cried out to God for answers. He revealed to me the concept of breast implant illness. Within 90 days, I had the implants removed and experienced an immediate improvement in my health. This prompted me to raise awareness about breast implant illness, sharing real stories of other women’s health struggles, including cancers caused by implants, damaged relationships, and further damage to women’s identities.
Finding True Identity in God
Through this experience, I learned that our true identities have nothing to do with societal standards or appearances. We are not defined by our shapes or our physical attributes. The seeds of an identity crisis can be sown in various ways, such as life transitions, loss and change, and societal pressures. Major life changes, like graduating, starting a new career, or becoming an empty nester, can disrupt our sense of self. Loss, such as the death of a loved one or a broken relationship, can shatter our understanding of the world and our place in it. Societal pressures, especially from social media, lead to constant comparisons and feelings of inadequacy.
The Dangers of External Validation
Comparing ourselves to others and seeking external validation can lead to a fragile sense of self. A social media snub can dismantle an image crafted online. A bad performance review can shatter a career-based identity. I struggled greatly with my identity when I lost my law enforcement career in a car accident. This, combined with physical pain, difficult family dynamics, prescription medication, and a brain injury, led me to four suicide attempts. Focusing on the world’s standards ultimately leads to a separation from true fulfillment and can end in both physical and spiritual death.
Embracing God's Love for Healing
Turning away from the world and looking to the spirit can help us discover the unconditional embrace of God’s love. Understanding where our true identity comes from means knowing the heart of a loving God who created us with purpose. God’s love shifts the focus from outward validation to inward value. We are inherently valuable simply for existing, offering a deep sense of security. Accepting Jesus means we are forgiven, given grace, and adopted into God’s family as His children, loved unconditionally.
Building a Foundation on God's Love
God’s love can restore our true identity, offering strength and hope during challenging times. By leaning into faith and trusting in God’s truth, we can navigate crises and find our true selves. I love the example of the Japanese art of kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold, making it more valuable. Similarly, God wants us to see our crises and struggles as opportunities to lean into His love, allowing Him to heal us and make us more valuable to His kingdom.
Finding Strength in God's Love: Practical Steps
You are not broken, my dear sister. You are simply an opportunity for the Master to show His goodness through you, helping others find their healing and true identity too. This value is much greater than gold or silver. Here are five things you can do to draw strength from the love of God if you are in an identity crisis.
1. Self-Reflection
Carve out time for quiet introspection. Pray to God to show you where, as your loving Father, He would have you shift in your values, what brings you joy, and what has mattered to you up until now. Journaling can be a helpful tool in this process. Compare the things you have written to what God says in His word.
2. Connect with Your Faith
Spend time in prayer and immerse yourself in the scriptures. Seek guidance from spiritual mentors, church leaders, or church communities. It is important to be in a community with others who know the love of God and understand your true identity. The noise of the world can be loud and distracting. Surround yourself with people who rely on God to help you focus and draw you back into His loving embrace.
3. Practice Gratitude
Focus on the blessings in your life, big or small. Gratitude grounds us and reminds us of the good in the world and the goodness of our God, who is always working things out for our good. Take time, morning and night, to write out at least two things you are grateful for, finding new things every day. Then, take time to say thanks and be grateful throughout the day for those things. You will soon find yourself with many more things to be grateful for. Remember, where your focus goes, grows.
4. Serve Others
Helping others takes the focus off our own troubles and allows us to connect with something larger than ourselves. It also gives God the opportunity to use us to help answer other people's prayers for help. Ask God every morning to show you who you can help that day, and then be open to act when He shows you. This is a time you can put the empathy you gained from your own difficulties to help someone else move through their hardships with more ease than you may have had.
5. Seek Professional Help
If the crisis feels overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. I highly recommend finding a Christian Bible-based counselor who will point you to what God says about your situation and the solution He has for you.
I am currently going through a master's program with Victorious Christian Living International to become a biblical counselor and can attest to the healing power of God's words and promises. If you need an affordable online resource for healing God's way, I recommend contacting VCLI at www.vcli.org or by calling 888-577-4904. With a biblical counselor from Victorious Christian Living, you can receive healing God's way in seven areas of life: spiritual, psychological, social, physical, financial, marital, and parenting. Tell them I sent you!
Embracing Your True Identity
The road to healing from the aftermath of an identity crisis is not always easy, yet it is made simpler when you have the right guidance, tools, and understanding of who your Father in heaven is and how much He loves you. You are enough exactly the way you are because He created you that way. Sister, the time is now for you to come to know exactly who you are and what you are called to do.
We, as maturing ladies, must be secure in God so that we can stand up to the evil in this world and help others meet Jesus and learn their true identities too. The next generations are counting on us in this broken world. Always keep in mind that you are never alone. God is always there. He never changes, and He will never leave or forsake you. He loves you unconditionally, and I love you too.
Please subscribe and share this message with anyone you know who may be in an identity crisis and needs to know God's love.
Thank you so much for reading.
I'll see you next time.
- Marci
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