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Healing My "Dad Hurts" Through Faith and Forgiveness from Broken to Belonging

Hey there, friends!

Today, I’m diving deep into some personal stories, reflecting on my life, and sharing how my journey with Jesus has transformed my perspective and healed my past wounds.

If you want to hear the full story (some details have been omitted in the blog - watch the YouTube video HERE).

By opening up my heart, I hope to inspire you and help you find a deeper connection with God and His love for you.

Daddy Hurts

In a recent blog post about my mom, I mentioned sharing my “Daddy Hurts” story. This story delves into the complex and often painful relationship I had with my father and how it shaped my life. Many women, like me, find that their early interactions with their fathers significantly influence their self-esteem and identity. When these relationships are strained or lacking, they can leave deep emotional scars.

Being the eighth of ten children, I yearned for a close bond with my father, a desire that often went unmet. My father had favorites among my siblings, and I was not one of them. One memory that stands out is when my sister and I asked him for lunch money, and he refused. Yet, when my younger sister asked, he gave her enough for all of us. This incident made me feel insignificant and unworthy.

Growing up, I desperately sought the fatherly love and approval I lacked at home. My parents' divorce when I was around twelve or thirteen added to my feelings of instability and rejection. My father’s presence in my life became even more sporadic, and I only saw him occasionally, often at my sporting events. While he showed up to claim pride in my athletic achievements, there was a painful lack of consistent support and connection.

Struggles and Seeking Validation

My search for fatherly love and validation led me to make poor decisions and put myself in vulnerable situations. I looked for attention and approval from older boys and men, trying to fill the void left by my father. This path brought about many difficulties and reinforced the negative beliefs I had about myself. I internalized the idea that I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough to deserve love and attention.

These foundational beliefs about myself, rooted in my childhood experiences with my father, affected my relationships, self-worth, and life choices. I struggled with feelings of unworthiness and rejection for decades, always looking for external validation to compensate for the love and approval I didn't receive from my father.

A Journey to Healing

Decades later, my healing began through a newfound relationship with God. My journey led me to network marketing, where I met my husband, Dondee. He introduced me to a non-denominational Christian church called Skyway. Here, I discovered a personal relationship with Jesus and began to heal from my past wounds.

This relationship with God helped me understand that my earthly father was a flawed human being, struggling with his own traumas. Realizing that my expectations of him were normal yet perhaps unfair helped me forgive him. I learned that my true worth and security come from my heavenly Father, who loves me unconditionally.

During this spiritual journey, I began to see my father with compassion. He likely did the best he could with the tools he had, even if it wasn’t enough for me as a child. I’ve let go of the blame and hurt, placing them at the feet of Jesus. This forgiveness has freed me to move forward and embrace the purpose God has for my life.

Moving Forward with Compassion

Understanding that my father was also a product of his own struggles and limitations allowed me to let go of the resentment and anger I held towards him. He, too, was shaped by his upbringing and experiences, which influenced how he interacted with his children. This realization brought me peace and a deeper sense of empathy.

Through my relationship with God, I’ve found the love and validation I yearned for as a child. God has shown me that I am valued, loved, and worthy, not because of anything I have done, but because of who He is. This unconditional love has transformed my life, allowing me to heal from the past and step into my purpose.

Encouragement for Others

To all the maturing ladies out there, if you’re struggling with similar hurts, know that God is waiting for you to lean into Him. He wants to heal you just as He healed me. Remember, you are loved, valued, and worthy of greatness. God has an abundant life planned for you, and He will provide everything you need to move into the next season of life with fulfillment and joy.

Join Me on This Journey

Thank you for being here and for reading shared my story. Share this with others who might benefit from hearing these words. Soon, I’ll be discussing identity and how understanding who I truly am in God’s eyes changed everything for me. I hope you’ll join me for this transformative topic.

Until then, remember that God loves you, and He’s ready to help you heal and grow.



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